Simple
by YourWorstDaydream
Summary: A step into Sephiroth's past to the present to see how he came to be what he is, and why he does what he does. G/A, G/S/A, slight S/C


AN: _T__his was brought about by another horribly epic burst of supposed writer's block. It's a story about Sephiroth and... well... It starts out psychological, friendship, a lot of hurt/comfort, and some romance once you get to the last chapters. I picked out the genre in which I feel this fic is MOSTLY geared toward._

_Edit: Thank you for the reviews! I'm psyched that you guys have enjoyed this so much! Much luvs! I've also found some errors that I somehow read over during my self review, so it's a little better read now._

Rated: M (Unsure, there's coupling in it but it's not graphic)

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of its characters. I am merely writing for your (and my own) entertainment.

Pairings: Starts off with G/A, then goes to some G/S/A. At the end it's light S/C.

_Simple_

_"Hide and seek, don't you peek~_

_"Sneak around the bushel trees~_

_"Duck, duck, goose, dog's let loose~_

_"Why don't you come play with me?~"_

Not everyone could remember being born, but Sephiroth could. The harsh lights, the gloved hands, being cold and scared. It was hell on earth that only got worse with every second. And needles, he remembered the needles.

He'd turned six and had never left the facility, the doctor liked to keep him in the lab. There were two other children there with him. One day they requested to go into town and another doctor named Hollander had no qualms with him following. He liked that doctor a lot more than he did Dr. Hojo, but maybe it was just because Dr. Hojo was only around for tests.

Then again, maybe he should have stayed there. He went without Dr. Hojo's permission and he'd learned that he didn't get along with other children. They made fun of his hair. Even with this failure, Dr. Hojo made him go along with the other two whenever they left the labs. He told him that he had to learn how to speak with others and command them. Sephiroth didn't want to order other kids to play with him. That seemed tyrannous.

Once more he was lead into town. He watched in silence as the younger kids chased each other on the open field. He didn't dare go near them. He learned his lesson the last time. First, they yelled at him for cheating, saying that he was too fast or that he moved too soon. Then they called him weird, making fun of him for not smiling or talking, but he didn't want to smile. His teeth were a bit sharper than theirs. It would give them something else to make fun of him for.

Genesis and Angeal were also watching the other kids play. He didn't know why they didn't join them. He could tell they wanted to. Genesis sneered at him, sticking his tongue out and leaving the park, claiming that he didn't feel like playing such trivial games.

Angeal flicked his ear while walking by, following Genesis further into Midgar and away from the other kids. Sephiroth winced, cupping his ear while chasing after the two. He didn't want to be left behind.

*~0~*

He was growing accustomed to their humor, even though he still didn't understand it. Genesis had developed a new catch phrase every time they got together, always, and he always used it every chance he got. Sephiroth understood what most of them were supposed to mean, he just didn't understand how they were thought up in the first place. Like pots talking to kettles. Why would someone think that an inanimate object would ever develop the ability to speak? If it were him he would have said: no, it doesn't smell like roses; no, it doesn't taste just like chicken; and you shouldn't give candy to infants in the first place.

*~0~*

Did he mention that he didn't understand why the scientists tried to keep them together? He was eight now and for two years, two _ridiculous_ years, they were forced to spend at least one week together out of the month.

Genesis was yelling at him, pointing toward the Materia in his hand.

"Everyone knows that's _my_ Materia. You don't go touching _other people's things_!"

The Materia in question came from the box. It was free to use for anyone worthy enough to practice with it. It wasn't a high level one, just strong enough to create a little fire so the new guys didn't accidentally burn themselves. He thought that was silly. The three of them together equaled out to some of the other men's ages. How could they still be so bad at wielding Materia? It was too easy.

"Genesis," Angeal interrupted the rant, "it's not just yours, and you've been practicing with the Fire Materia for forever. _You're hogging it!_ It's time someone else gets a turn!"

"_Fine_!" Genesis sneered and left. "I didn't want it anyways!"

Sephiroth figured the drama was over with. Genesis would come back eventually. He had to if he wanted to leave this place. They were supposed to be escorted back by the same man that left them here. Sephiroth concentrated on the green glowing orb in his hand, focused on setting fire inside the practice circle in front of him. The area lit up in a small burst of flame. He lost concentration when an all too familiar sting hit his left ear. He looked up, confused as Angeal walked by. The older boy stopped by the door Genesis walked out of and turned to face him.

He looked like he was having a hard time trying to find the words. "You- you're- you're so..."

Not that Sephiroth really cared. The other gave a sigh. He was sure he heard the word 'weird' in it.

*~0~*

Genesis and Angeal had stopped coming in to see him. Dr. Hojo hadn't mentioned anything changing from his routine schedule. The man probably thought it had been interfering with work.

He hadn't realized that he'd come to anticipate the others' company until he'd lost it.

*~0~*

Last year Dr. Hojo had begun to let him wonder outside the building unaccompanied. He'd received strange looks, but people had stayed away from him. He saw people who seemed to merge into larger groups and chat effortlessly. He never realized that this was the normal. He'd always assumed it had only worked in pairs, like Genesis and Angeal, or that married couple on the second floor, and that the term "friends" had only applied to two people. He'd quickly grown used to being wrong when judging relationships. He wasn't trained to understand them.

*~0~*

The three of them were older now when Sephiroth had seen them again. They were in their mid teens, and the two were still joined at the hip. Time had gone by slowly at first, painfully so, but once Sephiroth had given up on the thought of being around them it had quickly gone on as it had before. He watched as the other soldiers flocked to them, commenting about how awesome they were and praising them about how hard they must have worked, the same things that were never said to him.

Where magic flowed freely from his Materia, Angeal's brow still furrowed in concentration.

Where he dodged and moved with his sword effortlessly, Genesis was panting and out of breath.

Everything had come to him with ease, and he was at the top of all his classes. It was second nature to him, and though Genesis and Angeal were still ahead of their peers, they were still working to get better. People respected them more. They looked at him like he strange.

Like he was 'weird'.

*~0~*

Sitting in front of the class, Genesis stuck his tongue out at Angeal. Angeal pinched him in return. It was childish, but it was something they did. It seemed to be accepted by the others, saying "What do you expect? They're still just kids".

Sephiroth placed himself in the back, only because it made it easier to see what was going on in the classroom. He ignored the fact that sitting next to people would bother them. Throughout the year everyone kept glancing back at him, the same done by Angeal and Genesis, though their looks seemed different. He was always the odd one out.

*~0~*

He was in the locker room, just finishing getting dressed, when one of the older boys came up to his locker and greeted him. That in itself was odd. No one had greeted him since he'd entered the program.

"Hey."

He didn't feel like talking, but nodded in response as to not offend the other. He learned that people got offended if you didn't respond and sometimes if you did. People got offended at the strangest things.

"Are you mute or something?"

"Hey, Michael," Angeal spoke up from behind his locker, "leave him alone."

*~0~*

The teacher hadn't come in yet.

Sephiroth had a headache. It caused him to have trouble paying attention. All the other seats in the classroom were full now except for his own and the two in the front. He chose the one closer to the board, hoping that it would help him focus.

The person sitting behind him got up and moved to his empty desk in back. The one off to his side fidgeted, seemingly uncomfortable and was trying not to look at him.

Genesis and Angeal came in. Angeal didn't know what to say, seeing Sephiroth in the seat he'd always been in since the start of the semester.

"You're in his spot," Genesis said, but Angeal already took the open one behind Sephiroth, appearing not to mind. "You can't just take people's seats!"

"Genesis," the taller of the two interrupted, "there's no assigned seating."

"_Fine_! I didn't want to sit next to you anyways!"

*~0~*

"You need to do what I say because I'm older," Genesis remarked as his arms crossed against his chest. They were in Materia class and were working in pairs. Everyone besides them, that is. With the odd number of students, the teacher grouped the three of them up because of how much further along in Materia they were than everyone else. "You get Ice. I get Fire. Angeal will get Earth."

Anyone could tell that the Ice Materia was the weakest one of the three, but while Sephiroth held it in his hands that target took the most damage.

Someone had called him a freak. He heard it only because his hearing was so sensitive, but like a lot of things he chose to ignore it.

A little while later, one of the groups had been set on fire. He couldn't help but notice that it was the same group that had called him a freak. The only Materia in the class strong enough to make a full Fire was the one in Genesis' hands. He looked at Genesis in confusion. There was no way he could have lost control of his Materia. Genesis was too good at it.

"What?" Genesis said, sneering at him while the teacher was putting out the flames. Class ended early.

*~0~*

Sephiroth was sitting on a bench with Angeal propped up against his side. It was a new custom that they developed, though he couldn't fathom why. The heavier boy would shove him sideways as he claimed he was getting comfortable. Genesis had found a new fascination in acting and would over dramatize a part of a play while Sephiroth was trying to read. They were purposely trying to bother him now.

*~0~*

Genesis and Angeal had been gone for a few weeks, taking the new SOLDIER test. He didn't know when they were coming back or why he wasn't sent with them. Time seemed to drag on, but then he was told to go to the SOLDIER testing grounds on the last day. He didn't do anything. He just showed up.

"How could he be a First?! _He didn't even take the test_!" Genesis was shouting. He and Angeal had both come back as 1st Class SOLDIERs. Throughout careful studies of the SOLDIER testing, the Science department felt it necessary to break the SOLDIER branch into three separate ranks. Angeal was frowning, quiet as he glared at nothing while Genesis continued to rave. "This is_ BULLSHIT!_"

Everyone was ignoring him now. Rumors spread around. Their looks and remarks were said further away from him now that more people realized his ability to hear, but even then he could still hear them. He also wanted to know why he didn't have to take the test like everyone else, but Hojo had told him that he didn't need to. It would have been unnecessary.

*~0~*

When Dr. Hojo told him to do something, he did it. It was expected of him. It was all tests and studies, nothing more.

Be on time for mako testing: Done

Allow the scientists to poke and prod his body: Too easy

Start using realism in his training with the use of living things:

"Sephiroth," Hojo was heard over the intercom. Sephiroth looked at the dog cowering in the corner. It wasn't in pain. It was scared, whimpering pathetically. There were yellow spots on the floor from where the animal pissed itself while running away to the furthest corner. It began right as he entered the room. Animals had the tendency to do that around him. He didn't hold any feelings for the thing, he'd never seen it before in his life. For some reason his stomach grew unnaturally warm while he thought about the task he was told to do.

Hojo was getting impatient. It was the first time Sephiroth had trained like this. "_Do it_."

He had to put aside personal feelings, just like how he was taught. He picked up the squirming dog, holding it by the body and wrapping an arm around its neck. It took just a moment, he could feel a heartbeat. He froze.

_"I said _'DO IT'_!"_

_"YELP!"_

_Snap_

*~0~*

He was reading in bed. He was sent to his room right after the training, but he couldn't sleep. He wasn't tired. He tried to ignore how unsettled his stomach was, or the way his hands shook whenever he turned a page, feeling a ghost brush of soft fur. The first attempt had been successful. He'd taken everything he'd learned and applied it with ease.

It had been the first time he'd been allowed to hold a dog.

He threw up sometime around midnight.

*~0~*

He was sick. Physically, noxiously ill. He wondered how people could survive this on a daily basis. They had to be much stronger than he'd given them credit for because it felt like he was dying. He stayed in his room while Dr. Hojo had informed the teachers that he wouldn't be participating today. Then it turned into the next day, and then the next. He'd never been sick before. He felt like his insides were burning, his skin was as cold as ice, his head spun, and he kept a firm grip on the bed to keep from falling towards the ceiling. Even though he knew the world wasn't really turning upside down, that it was impossible, it still felt like it was. His limbs shook every time he moved.

He could keep his food down now. The first day it proved impossible. Whenever he coughed, he gagged. His throat felt like he swallowed razor blades during the night. The cough drops helped with that, if only a little.

There came a knock on the door, sending his migraine flaring. Sephiroth got his bearing back enough to recognize the voice of Genesis.

"Holy shit, you look like hell."

He wondered how they got here. No one besides Dr. Hojo had come to his room before. He was supposed to be staying away from everyone.

"Don't worry, they don't know we're here," Genesis stated, a little too smug as he looked around the room. "I bet you can't wait to get back to your own room! This place looks like it was made for an asylum!"

What was wrong with his room?

"Don't tell me that this place is actually yours..." Angeal spoke as he caught Sephiroth's look, and then the two looked closer, noticing the small things that clearly marked it as his. He knew what they were looking at, it was the same thing he saw every day. Beige walls, a white desk and dresser, and a plain singles bed and locker fitting in an twelve by twelve square foot room. It had the necessities, and there was a latrine for males right across the hall. The other rooms had the same thing.

"There's no windows... no _color_..."

For some reason that appalled Genesis. Sephiroth never did understand that logic. Even if he put a bunch of things in his room, it would look the same day after day. It was the same as everyone else's. Almost. Right?

His pained lungs chose now to have another coughing fit.

"Are you_ sick?!_" Genesis asked and pulled back his hand when it came in contact with his face. "You're burning!"

Angeal crept up and did the same. Sephiroth didn't have the strength to fight them off. Neither had been sick before.

He looked to his desk. On it was a cup filled with lukewarm water by his schoolbooks. He didn't know what was in it, but it tasted sweet and helped his throat. Dr. Hojo had quickly left while telling him to stay hydrated.

Angeal must have noticed him glance at it, for he brought the cup to him. He slowly sat up in bed, feeling weak and drained from just that little movement. He'd almost spilled it when he reached for the cup. Thankfully Angeal had been ready. He was ashamed by his own weakness.

The younger boy brought it up to his lips, slowly tipping it, allowing him only enough to sip.

He wanted to thank him, but what came out was another series of horse coughs.

*~0~*

Genesis had turned nineteen. Angeal was his age, which made him eighteen still. It wasn't anything unusual to see either of them naked since they got undressed in the locker rooms all the time, but one day he walked into the training room to see Genesis on top of Angeal. His legs were spread on either side and they were both completely naked. Genesis shouted, coating Angeal's stomach and chest with fluid, and then Angeal's entire body went rigid, moaning and collapsing and gasping in air as if he'd just ran a marathon.

Sephiroth was stunned. He wasn't entirely sure of what he was seeing. Angeal saw him first, eyes wide and face flushing a brilliant red. It caught Genesis' attention as he turned around, spotting Sephiroth.

"Don't you dare tell anyone about this."

Say anything about what? What were they doing? He quickly left as Genesis began shouting for him to leave.

He wanted to know what they were doing, but Genesis seemed very upset that he caught them. None of them spoke about it and he felt like he intruded on something. That was the first time Genesis seemed so serious about anything.

*~0~*

It took days for the both of them to learn that Sephiroth was genuinely perplexed, and when they did it was Angeal who came to him first. Apparently he'd drawn the short end of the straw. They'd talked for a few minutes before Angeal realized he'd lost Sephiroth somewhere in his half-assed explanation.

"Wait, you don't know what kissing is?" Angeal looked at him as if he'd grown a second head.

"Is that what you two were doing?" Sephiroth thought it looked to be more like wrestling, but at least he had a name to it. He said as much. Angeal laughed.

"No, that was definitely not wrestling, though with Genesis I sometimes wonder, but what we were doing, you know, when you walked in, that was something else."

"Then what's kissing?"

"Kissing... that's another form of wrestling, I guess you could say." Angeal blushed and frowned, trying to find the right words to help him understand. "It's when two people press their lips together..."

"And wrestle?"

"Yes, and wrestle." Angeal failed at holding back his humor and began laughing again. It only caused Sephiroth more distress at the fact there were more things he didn't understand. How could someone else's face make you feel good?

He leaned in and pressed his lips to Angeal's, giving him a kiss. Angeal froze, pulling back as he immediately stopped laughing.

"Sephiroth, that's something you only do when you like someone."

"Liking someone. Like trusting them?"

"Exactly."

Sephiroth understood, the act was very close, after all. You'd have to trust that person not to kill you, as they'd be within reach of any of your vital organs. You'd have to like the person enough to want to give up that type of defense.

"I like you." Sephiroth declared and kissed Angeal again. He didn't know what to think of it. It didn't feel bad.

*~0~*

Angeal was ignoring him. He walked out of the room after Sephiroth had kissed him that second time. Sephiroth guessed that it worked both ways, and Angeal must not have trusted him not to kill him. He didn't understand until he heard two people from his class talking about liking a girl, saying that only one of them could be with her. Then he understood. Genesis and Angeal were together like that. No one else could lay their claim on the other. It was taboo and against what he heard was 'the bro code'. Now he knew why Genesis had been livid all this time. Angeal must have told him.

*~0~*

He hadn't talked to them for weeks, not until Genesis came up to him one day, arms crossed and angry. "Why did you kiss Angeal?"

"I thought that's what I should do. I was wrong. My apologies." Sephiroth said monotone, retreating from Genesis to go back to his room.

"And what if it were me that was talking to you, what then?"

Sephiroth looked at Genesis in thought. "I would have made the same mistake. And your anger toward me wouldn't have changed." He left before he could get yelled at again by the only two who he'd ever grown close to.

"Sephiroth, _wait_!"

A group of people walked by, and he took their distraction to escape. He didn't know what Genesis had to say. Maybe he should have waited, but today had been the last day of class and the situation in Wutai had broken out into chaos. He was the first one to have been deployed.

*~0~*

More than a year later, in the heat of the fog that became freezing as soon as the sun dropped, living and surviving in the same conditions as the others, and everyone still called him a monster. But that was ok. He really was. He noticed right away that the temperature had little to no affect on him. While people were fanning themselves with papers, taking their shirts off to keep themselves cool, Sephiroth ran in his full leather suit. While people were sleeping, cuddled together in their tents to keep warm, Sephiroth had dressed down if only to get comfortable as he covered himself with a thin sheet.

While explosions and gunfire went off around them, while people cowered when wave after wave of Wutai forces came at them, Sephiroth stood firm in his ground, leading nervous men, being the first one to charge to the front lines and granting the rest courage. He wasn't scared.

The Wutai called him a monster, a demon. He didn't think twice when his enemies got too close. He didn't think twice when he felt the familiar snapping of their necks. Not until he went to sleep. Not until midnight came. Not until he had to crawl out of his tent and sneak into the woods so his men didn't hear him wretch. It happened every night after they had battle. His excuse for the night watch was that he was going for a stroll. None of them knew any differently. He'd quickly learned to eat only in the morning, otherwise food would be wasted on him.

*~0~*

The field was littered with bodies. He'd been promoted that day. Sephiroth was now the youngest General in history. He was only twenty-two, been deployed for a few years, and had lead his men to many victories. No one questioned it.

His name was the Demon of Wutai.

*~0~*

"Hello, General."

Sephiroth looked up as he saw a man come into the main tent. Red leather armor matched similar hair that framed a face he hardly recognized.

"Genesis?"

"I'm a Commander now." Genesis stated. Sephiroth looked at him, studied him. He's aged and though his eyes had gotten sharper, the years had been kind to him. Genesis was 26, only a few months older than Sephiroth, he remembered, but Genesis didn't tower over him anymore. Commander, that would mean Genesis had been out in the field too. He was much calmer now. Jaded. Sephiroth didn't think he'd ever run into him again. Not so far out here, not after so long. He wondered if Genesis had always looked that handsome.

"We're in need of some backup to the East of here, so they sent me to come look for you. We've heard pleasant things." Genesis' voice sounded anything but pleasant. So he hadn't forgotten the last time they saw each other.

Sephiroth agreed to split his forces, sending a quarter of them with Genesis in order to guarantee a victory in the east. Genesis argued that it was too many, he didn't want to hear it.

"The order is final, _Commander_. We haven't been under attack for months, nor have we seen any activity. We're just waiting on the President's orders to move forward."

"Fine," Genesis hissed out. He turned around, clearly intent to start the travel plans with the forces to get out of here as soon as possible, but he stopped at the doorway. Before he left he gave a final spat. "And with all due respect, _General_, you look like shit."

*~0~*

Sephiroth stood around his men, looking at the morning chow unappreciatively. The men chatted among themselves, telling jokes and making bad puns. Most began talking about their families back home and how they only had one year left. All the soldiers stayed out in the field for a two year tour, rotating out with others in order to preserve morale. Sephiroth had been the only one to stay during the entire battle, from the start until now. They needed their General. Though they respected him for it all the more, it's what also caused fear.

He sat down next to a man with a piece of broken mirror. He was cleaning his teeth with string.

"Can I see that?" He asked, motioning toward the mirror in the man's hand.

"Of course, Sir!"

The man had given it to him and scurried off to grab a bowl to eat elsewhere. He turned the mirror over, wondering how such a small thing could cause so much fascination. It wasn't much, just a reflection. He moved the mirror to look at himself and was slightly shocked by what he saw. He saw an older man looking at him from the reflection, someone he didn't recognize. Gone was the round cheeks and soft jaw, replaced by chiseled features and harsh lines. He looked almost too thin, his eyes had dark circles around them. Genesis was right, he really did look like shit.

Gone was his momentary curiosity. He tried to find the man who had let him borrow the mirror, but he was nowhere to be found. He noticed the other men were giving him odd looks. He was aware that they feared him so much more than they respected him.

*~0~*

It had been a few months, but Sephiroth had just gotten word that the situation in Eastern Wutai had been coming to a close. His men would be coming back soon. The order was given to move forward and take the city as soon as possible.

The President put their lives in danger. He sent out valuable information on an insecure line. The Wutai now knew that the forces coming back were less than half the size of the full army and were moving without backup from any of the Generals. They knew when they were moving and where they were moving to.

Sephiroth had been yelling at the person in charge of the radio, demanding to know why he hadn't just shut it off when the person on the other line refused to stop speaking. The kid began crying. God damn. It was just a kid who was trying to do his best. He realized that more and more young people were volunteering to become soldiers. He wondered how Shinra had conned them. They were much too young, but then again, Sephiroth had been younger. But he had been trained for this upon birth. He ordered the kid to leave, he would be reprimanded later.

Sephiroth planned to go out and make sure his men were safe. He'd taken the best chocobo he had and ran the trail that would lead him to Genesis' army, but he'd gotten there too late. He saw the aftermath of battle not 50 miles away from his base. Bodies of Shinra and Wutai alike littered the ground, but there were so many more that were wearing friendly colors. It had been a sneak attack. The men didn't know they were coming. They'd been completely unaware. Counting the bodies, there hadn't been any survivors.

He saw a group that appeared as if they had been placed there after the battle had ended. Once forced into submission, they had to watch as their friends were murdered, one by one, with no way to stop it. Sephiroth saw the telltale trace of tear marks on most of the faces, young and old alike. They were forced to watch. Completely hopeless.

Sephiroth saw red as he moved toward the city, like he knew he was meant to. He'd gone by himself. He was trained to fight alone.

Two things had happened that day. It was the day that Shinra had conquered the once great nation of Wutai, making them submit in fear. It was also the day that the Leviathan River ran red with blood.

*~0~*

He brought his head up, he thought he heard his name. It took a moment for him to realize where he was. He found himself back inside his tent, his troops rustling around outside. After the battle, the city had been completely destroyed. He remembered screaming, and then silence. He'd been resting on top of some rubble, completely drained. He'd fallen asleep. Someone must have found him.

"Sephiroth!"

The only thing he saw was a fist, and he'd fallen out of bed with a bruise quickly forming on his face immediately right after.

It was Angeal.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?!"

Sephiroth held back any confusion he may have had upon seeing Angeal. He was what Sephiroth could only describe as perfection. He was broad, much broader than he remembered, and his fist was clenched, showing muscles straining against skin. He had a strong jaw, soft eyes, and a body that could only have been sculpted out of rock by a master artist. Only Angeal was still yelling.

"We were heading to the city! I was just West of you! Why didn't you call for backup? Why did you kill everyone?!"

Why did he kill everyone? Sephiroth's mind flashed back to the screams. The men had attacked, fought with fear against his rage, the older people had pleaded for mercy, the women had begged.

The children.

"There were women and children in those buildings, Sephiroth! Don't tell me you didn't know!"

He'd seen his men with their throats slit. His men, who had also pleaded on those long nights for this nightmare to end.

"Why didn't you wait for us to help you?"

He'd been so angry.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

Sephiroth got up on unsteady legs. The heat in his stomach was coming back, but the sun hadn't even gone down yet. He pushed Angeal aside and walked out of the tent. His mind was focused on getting to the woods. His men saw him come out, saw him being yelled at by Angeal. They watched.

Angeal turned him around, forcing him to be face to face.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Leave me alone." Perfect monotone, no feelings were exposed. He tried to shrug the man's arm off, careful not to upset his stomach. Angeal just grabbed him again. "That wasn't a request!"

God, he tried to sound commanding, but it sounded more like pleading.

"I'm not letting you go anywhere. Not until you tell me what the hell happened out there!" The word 'hell' seemed to be Angeal's favorite word now.

"Let me go." He was getting hotter.

"This isn't a game, Sephiroth!"

"Leave me!" There had been so many lives he had taken.

"NO! There were civilians that you murdered. I'm not letting you go until you tell me why!"

In the background he could hear his men laughing. They'd found a stray dog somewhere and were playing with it. He could hear it yelp as one man accidentally tripped over it. His mind flashed back to soft fur tickling the palms of his hands. The rapid pulse.

He didn't make it to the woods this time. He gathered up enough strength only to push Angeal back enough so that he could collapse on the ground.

"Sephiroth?" Angeal's voice was barely heard as he hurled whatever was left in his stomach, which was close to nothing except gastric juices, and then began dry heaving when there wasn't even that left. Angeal held him softly as he shook, moving a hand across his back in soothing motions. Oh, God, why did he have to shake every time? He barely noticed when he was lifted up and taken into the tent, away from the prying eyes of his soldiers.

Angeal didn't speak after that, he was quiet as he allowed Sephiroth to cling to himself on the mattress. It felt like hours until he relaxed enough to loosen his grip on his arms, and Angeal still waited for him to speak first, wrapping his arms back around him when he finally did.

"I can't do this anymore," Sephiroth began, shaking his head as emotions he never thought he had suddenly came rushing out. "Please don't make me do this anymore."

"Shhh," Angeal cooed as he caressed his hair, not minding that it was dirty and ratty from all the years with little to no ways to perform personal hygiene. "It's alright. I'm here."

"I never wanted to be General. I never wanted to be in SOLDIER. I don't want to kill anymore."

He finally noticed that Genesis was also in the tent with them. He heard what happened in the city, heard the talking going on outside and the rumors about the nightly trips into the woods. Genesis put two and two together. He knew what was going on.

The two ordered for no one to come inside the tent. Every so often one of them would go outside and make sure the men were doing alright, see if there was any word on movement, and tell them that their General was alright, that he was just resting.

Genesis and Angeal had brought in some mats and aligned them to form a space big enough for the three of them to sleep on. But Sephiroth couldn't sleep.

They would take turns stepping out with him at night when he had to go into the woods. One time one of the guards had followed due to curiosity. He'd been found out, but not before he saw the start of the ravine that Sephiroth had visited. Due to what was seen on the ground, anyone could tell he visited this place often. Angeal knew he couldn't keep the man silent, but he did order him to leave. After that, everyone knew why Sephiroth had gone all those times before. No one tried to follow him again.

They were with him the entire night, holding him while he shook. They spoke to him, gave him encouragement, told him that the war was over and that they could go home. He'd only have to be the General for a little while longer.

Sephiroth didn't say anything. Just smiled at the thought. They were sweet little words that didn't mean anything.

He knew he was Shinra's monster.

*~0~*

Genesis had been angry. They had been back home for only a few weeks and he'd already picked a fight with every staff member Shinra had to offer, even going as far as telling the President to fuck off. Sephiroth said nothing. No matter what he did he already knew that Shinra would never let him go.

The day they'd gotten back Genesis and Angeal had helped him put in his resignation. The two didn't understand that it had no chance of working, but he did it anyways, if only to let them believe he was trying. He got a call in from the director telling him that they couldn't let him go. He was too strong, too different. He was the property of Shinra.

That's what made Genesis angry, and the fact that he was throwing fireballs around every corner was just people claiming that he wasn't adjusting to civilian life properly. The three Generals had been out there without rotating back. It was easy to believe. So Genesis let out the anger that Sephiroth couldn't show himself.

Angeal began taking up a hobby in planting. He said it was giving life back to the planet. He could never be forgiven for all the lives he took, but he said that watching those plants grow gave him a sense of peace, and Angeal's calm nature gave Sephiroth the stability he needed. Angeal noticed that the animals in the area made themselves scarce whenever he came by. They avoided him like the plague, but these flowers bloomed under their care. Even when he accidentally stepped on a plant, thinking he killed it, Angeal assured him it was stronger than he gave it credit for. In a week it was blooming again, just like Angeal said it would.

*~0~*

It had been six months and Sephiroth still hadn't spoken. The media was under the impression that he didn't want to say anything in front of the cameras, but his soldiers knew better. The mental breakdown after seeing the way his own men were slaughtered, the revenge he took, the rejected resignation, it all added up like a heavy weight in the back of his mind. They didn't know everything, but they could guess most of it. They had taken a vow of silence to protect the honor of their General, they may have feared him, but they respected him so much more. So when the media surrounded their General they were the first ones to get between them and start stating "no comment!"

*~0~*

"Sephiroth." Genesis and Angeal were laying in bed with him. They developed the habit of sleeping together since that night in the tent. "Remember when you had kissed Angeal?"

Yes, he remembered. It was the first time experiencing heartbreak, though he didn't know what the word for it was back then.

"Angeal had told me that you didn't know how to kiss, or what it meant."

It still hurt to think about it.

"You had apologized to me before, but I was wondering... if you knew that Angeal was with me, would you still have kissed him?"

"Genesis," Angeal tried to reprimand him, but it was ignored.

Sephiroth moved to sit at the corner of the bed while Genesis continued to pry.

"You said that if I was the one you were talking to, it would have been me you kissed. If you knew that Angeal and I were together, if you knew what kissing meant, would you have still kissed me?"

"Genesis!" Angeal warned again. He didn't want his friend to go too far. He didn't want to push Sephiroth away again.

They stared at each other, Genesis wanting answers and Sephiroth not knowing how to give them. Then Sephiroth felt a sudden serge of confidence, or maybe it was jealousy, wanting what he knew he could never have. He leaned down to brush his lips across Genesis' before getting up. It was meant to be a goodbye, thinking that they didn't have to force themselves to watch over him anymore. It would have been the last time they'd be together, just the three of them. Stressing the words 'would have been' if not for Genesis jumping up out of bed and turning him around, crashing their lips together so hard their teeth clicked.

Sephiroth was fully prepared to be hit, but he did not expect this. A tongue wormed its way into his mouth as he was forcefully shoved back towards the bed. He fell back once he hit the edge, landing in Angeal's lap.

"We've worked our asses off to become strong enough to be with you! We've worked so hard to get enough strength to stand and fight, not under you, but right there at your side! We're not giving you up now, not when you need us the most!"

Sephiroth was surprised, looking at Angeal, only to confirm that what Genesis had said was the truth. Angeal kissed him. It was softer, sweeter than what Genesis had done, but not any less demanding.

"Sephiroth," Angeal began. "The day you kissed me, I only pulled back because I knew you didn't understand. If I thought you did, I would have held no qualm about taking you on the spot and dragging you to Genesis' afterwards."

"You're so beautiful." Genesis turned him so they were face to face once more and kissed him again. He fell into their trance, a victim among succubus, allowing them to take off his clothes while they undid their own.

It was when he was in with them, in between Genesis' thighs while Angeal moved from behind, setting the pace, that he became delirious, and he loved every moment of it. They turned him into a panting, moaning mess. He wanted to thrust forward, he wanted to grind his hips back. He didn't know what to do if only to force is mind to stop working as he rode the waves of pleasure. He gave up his control over to these two men he'd grown to love.

*~0~*

"It's an order to kill them. They're mentally unstable. The cells in Genesis are rapidly deteriorating and no one knows what he's planning."

He looked at the papers. It was a combination of Genesis' and Angeal's files. Both of them said "Dangerous. Eliminate on Sight".

He knew what was coming next. They were the words he'd grown to despise.

"As Shinra's General, you're the only one who can do this."

The only ones who had kept him sane were the same ones he'd been ordered to destroy. And he couldn't do it. He tried to reason with them, but neither listened to his words. He'd procrastinated too long.

The night he heard that Angeal's protégé killed him, and Sephiroth saw red once more. He'd grabbed Masamune, the only thing that hadn't abandoned him, and went to Zack's apartment. He wanted to know why, why would Zack kill Angeal? Why would he _murder_ him?!

He opened up the door to Zack's house, fully intent on getting blood for blood, when he saw the other on the floor with Angeal's buster sword, crying his eyes out over the loss of his mentor, the one who had been like a father to him since joining Shinra.

Sephiroth's bloodlust had dissipated. He closed the door behind him. He wouldn't go to Zack, he wouldn't offer him consolation. Sephiroth would give him that as his punishment. Let him deal with it alone.

*~0~*

He found Genesis again, completely mad, the final thread had snapped once he'd learned of Angeal's death. Genesis demanded to know why he didn't join them. He was tempted to, the only thing that had stopped him was remembering the flower garden that Angeal had grown, and how he loved that little bit of life he gave back to the planet, not destroy it.

He begged Genesis, tried to talk sense into him. Genesis said that he was Shinra's General through and through. It was the second time Genesis left him feeling betrayed. When he heard that Zack was going to stop him, he didn't lift a finger to help. He didn't want to pick a side. He couldn't do it anymore. He'd always had both of them to help him put up this mask and now he had neither.

And Zack was the one to end it all.

*~0~*

"Sephiroth!" It was Cloud again. Sephiroth smirked, bringing up the Black Materia in his hand. Cloud reminded him so much of Genesis. He had so much passion, so much anger that it set fire to his eyes and burned blue. He was caring, and lovable, and everything that Sephiroth wasn't.

"Hello, Cloud." Sephiroth met Cloud through Zack, and he'd grown to hate Zack. So therefore he hated Zack's little friend Cloud. They'd battled each other for years, and he knew he lost his sanity a long time ago. He'd lost it the moment he lost Genesis and Angeal, the moment he met 'mother'. It was gone the moment he'd learned how he was created, why he was created. He was made to destroy this planet and everything on it since the day he was born. He would have killed Genesis and Angeal eventually. It was in his DNA.

That was all of him in a nutshell, and it hurt because it was true.

But fighting Cloud, he could forget all of that. There was only hatred. No love. No hurt. No memories of the past. Only here and now. Because he hurt Cloud in ways that Cloud would never forgive him for. This feeling was like a drug.

Even when Cloud had gotten sick on the ride to his hometown, Sephiroth remembered feeling pity for him. He knew what it was like to want to throw up your insides due to nerves. After Zack had moved away from Cloud to talk to the driver, Sephiroth had stepped in and began rubbing Cloud's back the way Angeal had done for him. It helped. And Cloud blushed once he had found out that it was Sephiroth who was doing it and not Zack. He blushed when Sephiroth found a flower patch in Gongaga and had given one to him, joking that it was as yellow as his chocobo hair. Cloud blushed when they first met, stuttering as he had given him his name and rank after running into the him with a tray of food.

Sephiroth lay on the ground, waiting for the planet to either take him away or destroy him entirely. He didn't know which path she had decided for Angeal and Genesis, but he wished it would be the same as theirs. He didn't want to be a part of Gaia's Lifestream if they weren't in it.

Cloud was over him now, on his knees crying, face pressed up close to his.

"Why?" Cloud asked as Sephiroth wiped the tears from his eyes.

He used that hand and guided Cloud's mouth to his, kissing him with whatever little strength he had left. He fell in love with Cloud somewhere along this crazy path towards insanity and he was sorry for letting that happen. He was sorry for being what he was, sorry for doing all the things he did. He was sorry for being a monster and a demon. He was sorry that he didn't try harder to stop. He was sorry that the only thing he could do right now was be sorry. Their kiss ended, like all good things did after time.

"I'm sorry."

_End._


End file.
